steven universe: human of bad
by jakkid166
Summary: severnt universe meets a human, but there might be MORE to him than one might thinkso to him about, will he FIND OUT MORE?
1. Chapter 1

steven universe: human of bad

by jakkid166

seven universe was in his universe home sittin in his bed watchin tv show his favorite "cryin breakfast friends"

on the tv the broccoli cryed so the spoon killed it and cryed

"wow wat a good episode" said stevern universe an he turn the TV off and go into the living room where sitting was pearl gargnat and amethist

"steven wewt u doi" said amethist

"just watchin crying breakfasting friends" said steven and he point to TV but it fell down th stair and broke

"OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" said stevens

"o well you shoudlt watch so mutch TV anyway said pearl you should go outside and take walks instead" said pearl

"ok" said stevne so he walk to donut shop to watch TV

steven went inside and say "oh right theres no TV here"

"wat u want steveN" said donut shop person

"i want a TV" said steeven

"theres no TVs here"

"TV donut then" said steven

"ok heres a tv donut" said donut person and gave steven a tv donut

"tank you" said steven and he goed outside with the TV donut and watch TV on it

wtf is a tv donut

while steepen was walking back home he bump into a man in suit

"o escus me" said steve

"lol its ok" say suit man and he wink at steven really weirdly

"wtf" said steven and he went back home

steven walk into homehouse "guys there was a guy who wink at me weird"

"every1 winks at ppl weird" say pearl "now lets go on this missione, we hav to captuire a gem alligator"

"but i dont want to"

"fuck you you have 2 come anyway" said peral

"fine ok but i wanna birng my tv donut so i can watch cryin donut friends"

them went on the portal thing and ported away to a swampforest

"wtf its really plant here" said phsteven "ok guis im gonna sit here an guard the portal whil you guys go kill the agilator"

really tho he just wanted to watch the tv donut

"ok fine" say garnet and they leavt

"ha now i can watch crying breakfast friend" says teven but he acidentally eat the tv donut

"SHIT" say steven "I MEEN CRAP"

but then ther was noise

in bushes

over there

steven lookd over there and saw THE SUIT MAN FROM BEFOR

"o shit" said suit man and he run away

"HEY WAIT" say steven and he chas after him

but he couldnt find him

wen he got back to portal the gems were there

"WHERE WERE U STeven you ssaid youd guard the portal"

"the winky guy wa here, he ran away when he see me"

"u lying, you just wanted to watch breakfastfriends"

"no"

that night they wetn to bed and steven was in bed cause he went to bed in his bed

"manit i gotta find what that gui was doin"

stevern went to portal and warped to swampforest place but he wasnt there

"ow ell" say steven and he tri to warp back but he accidently go to homoworld warp

"oops" say seven and he was gone leave but he heard a SOOOOOOOOUND

"wtf" say steven an he look behind portal and it was suit guy

"O SHIT" say suit guy and he jump hack "what ar u doin here"

"TATS WHAT I WAN KNOW" say stevern "WHY YOU DO HERE"

"well if u must know" say suitman "i hav plans to do"

"wat plans"

"SEEEEECRET PLANZ" say him and he do thing "i am gonna be famos amos"

"but are they evile plans"

"yes i mean no"

"caus if they aRe then WERE THE CYRSTAL GEM AND WELL STOP YOU UP"

"no" say suit guy and he pull out gun

SUDENLY one the portal activate and the crystal gems come out

"GUYS THIS GUYS HAVE EVIL PLAN FOT THE PORTAL" say stevern

"aha no im just on vacation see caus i have this camera" and he hold up the gun

"THATS A GUN" say steven

"no its a camera" say suit guy and he take a picture of himself with it

"wtf" say steven

"steven u cant disrupt peoples vacations ur grounded"

"dammit" say stevewn and they all warp awaiye except for suitguy

"hehehe" he laughed an evil snickers bar


	2. caper 2

stevem universe: human of bad

chapter 2: ayyyo

steven unerferse was mad cause he was grounded, so he couldnt watch tha tv or anythin g so he was mad cause of that

"steven y u mad" said amerthist

"cause im grounded, so i couldnt watch tha tv or anythin g so i am mad cause of that"

"oh ok"

"also im sure that suite guy was evil amethist he had a face"

"evil ppl dont have cameras tho"

"fuck"

stevern decide to go on a walk and then went back home

"ok im gonna wait till ever1 one is sleep then ill look for suit guy"

steven waited till it was nighttime

"o yea" said stevem "gems dont sleep"

so steven insted left a steven dummy in he bed then snuck to the portal and left to the place wit the portals he was in before so he could look for the suite guy that got him grounded cause he were real mad of that cause he hates being ground cause it means he cant watch tha tv or anythin g so he is mad cause of that

but when steven appear there he real ize that suit guy is NOT THERE

"GADOOP" say steven "he musta left" so he got back onto the protal and ported away but this tiem he went to the swampforest cause he saw him there before

when he appear there he go walkin down the path and lookin arouhnd, when he got out of the trees he see a TENT

"oshit i wondere how that got there" and he got up to the tetn to see who was in it and he open it and it was SUIT MAN

"HAH I FOND U" said steven

"dammit y u interrupting my facation again" said suit man "i awanna eat my soup in peace"

"cut tha CRAP, yuo gotta tell me what your evil plans are"

"NO" say suitmn

"wtf man u suck who even are u"

"my name" saiod suit guy "is PHOENIX WRIGHT"

"WHHHHHHHHAT" said stevem "wait who is that"

"I" am phoenix wright

"i am ad efense attorney who ONE DAY AN YEAR AGO or something like that i went to arrest a murder but i dIED"

"but how r u alive then"

"BECAUSE edgorth dragd me to hell and then i escaped, but sumhow i end up HERE IN STEVENUNIVERSE WORLD"

"wat how do you know my name tho"

"caus steven univers is my favorit tv show"

"wtf im not a tv show"

"you are in m y world" say phoenis "aniway since ive told u all abot me im gonna hav to kill u" and he tooked out tha gun from before and point at stephen and FIRE IT

BUT the bulet was blockd by stevens shield, it rioched off and hit phoenics in the eye

"WOW OW FUCK MY EYE YOU SEE IT HURTS BECAUSE A BULLET WENT OFF UR SHIELD AND HIT IT AND NOW I THINK ITS BLIND OR SOMETHIN" and he was jumpin around holdin his hand on his eyesockit which was leaking blooooood allover

"ha thats what u get for killing me" say steven and thNE there was sound behind him

IT WERE THE CYRSTAL GEMS

"STEAVEN y are u messing dis guys vacation again" say pearl

but phoenxi dident notice them cyrstal gems were ther cause he was too busy wit his eye

"FUCK YYYYUO" say phoenix an he grab the gun and fire it radnomly

"o shit" say garnit "the gun is real"

"I TOLD U GUYS, HES EEEEEVIL WEEVIL KINEVIL" sayed steven

"wat" say phjoenix and then he notice the cyrstal gems were standin there in BATTL FORMATION

"...o shit" say phoenix "EY LOOK BEHIND U ITS A EVIL SNICKERS BAR" and when they look he ran into tha trees

"AFTER HIM" said ameshit and theyran aftere phoenix

but after 5 minutes of running to him they couldnt find him because he was gone

"FUCK" say pearl "ok dont worry steven well find him eventualy"

"ok" sayed styeven

IN THE MEAN WHILE phoenic was running thru the forest and he finaly got to his SEEEECRET LAB BASE

when he got in ther he put on an eyepatch

"i am no longere phoenix wright, from now on ppl will call me "big nick"

yea i know thats a stupid name but wright is a dumb ideot so hed come up wit a shit name like that

anyway if u want to see the next chapter then go to the neckst page unles the new chapter isnt out yet in which case jus wait 4 the new chaoter cause the chapter 3 is gonn be REALLY good i can say that to you


	3. capper 3

steven bootyverse: human of badd

chapter ==3

peral and garnit and amathest had jus called the police to see if they can find the mr phoenix wright guy cause he tryed to shoot steven

"ok" said police chierf "wats he look like"

"he wears cloths and has hair" sayed steven

"oh u mean phoenix wirght?" said police chief who was actualy DAMON GANT

"yo wat a fuck u know him?" say pearl

"ya" say damongant "HE FRAME ME FOR MURDER"

but gamon dant was lies, he really watned to get reveng on phoenix cause he killd him in damon gant escaps from PRISOOOOOOOOON

"dam what a dicknug" said amethirst

"yes" say damongant "we gotta catch him or else ill be really sad"

"ok but how" say garnet

wit evidence said gant, he grabb his barbie backpack and say "lets go invesigate"

~ MEANWHILE ~

nick wright was in hi lab base plotting his plan

"ok so now i gone finally figure out what my plan is" said he

waite what you mean you havent figure it out yet?

"yeah i stil need to think it up" say phoenix

oh ok

"ok so i think i need what to do is to go home so i gotta fidn a way to get bakc home so i can enact my REAL plan, whic is so i can get to hell so i can hepl edgeghost break out of there cause satan trappd him there after i breaked out of hell"

phoenix wernt onto his compurer and typed into google "how to get to japanifornia"

"ok" said phoenic "it says here i gott build a teleporter that wil take me back to home, but i need 2 get sumthing that will power it"

so he type in2 google "source of big power"

"ok it say here that i need to get a rare mysticality gem artifact that will pwower my portal to home"

"wait a secon i was aLREADY looking for that in tha first place"

so he ran out he door to start lookin for the arti fact

~ MEANWHILE ~

"ok" say damongant and they wer at homeworld warpe "so dis is a place where u saw phoenix wright?"

"yes" say pearl "this is where he face"

"ok" say gant "yes i see his fignerprints on the warpz, it look like he was tryin to GET them to work so he could use them to be teleportin"

"bt WHERE could he want to go" say stevem

"hm" said gant "idk"

"man ur fucking useless" said pearl

~ MEANWHILE ~

edgeworth was in hell gettin tortured by satin

"hahaha u sukc at prosecuting" said satan

"nOOOOO stop making fuN OF MEEEE" said edworth

"but its fun" say stan

"im a good at prosecutin though ig ots lots of guilty verdicts cause im a smart person with a smart brain"

"yeah well if ur so smart then why are u dead"

~ MEANWILE~

"ok" say big nick he was wenting through the swampforest place again and he wa holding a compass

"this compas says the treasure is in dis place somewhere" he looked aroudn "i dont see it"

SUDENLY gant and tha GEMS APEPARD FRO THE BUSGHES

"WHAT" sayed wright "HOW DID U FIND ME"

"elementary my dear wrighto" said gant

"my names not wrighto now its BIG NICK"

"i dont give a fukc, i know wat ur looking for and i put a fake one here for your COMPASS TO TRACK"

"BULL SHITE" said bull write "prove it"

"wat you are looking for is called the MILORB OF BOTE"

"what tha fuck is that" said write "no im looking for tha gem of ultimate power"

"HAHAHA" said gatn "i just got u to say what youre looking for"

"wait what"

"o shit" said garnete "hes lookin for the gem of ultimate power? but that has all the big power in the wordl, wat could he possible want ti for?"

"to TAKE OVER THE WORLD" sayed gant

"wait what" said wright "no i jus want it so i can sav my friedn-" BUT THE GREMS ATTACK HIM

garnet tryed to punch wrighte but he dodge and pulld out his gun and pointde it at all of them

"AHAHA the shoe is on the other HAND NOW" said wrighte

"no said gant" said gant and he grabbed a rock and throwed it at wright and it hit him in the nose

"OW" said wrighte and he accidental fired the gun and the bulet bouncd off a tree and hit him in the foot

"AAAARGN" said wright "ARE U FUKKING HIDDING ME THAT HAPPENED AGAIN? I HATE GUNS GODAMIT" and he was jumpin arond holding his foot

"ok wright ur under arest" said gant and wright got arested

"shit" said wright who was in jail "i gotta escapey"

"BUT HOW"

TO BE CONTINUES


	4. su4

stephen universe human of bad

chapter 4: phoenix wright escaps from PRISOOOOOOOOOON

by jakkid166

phoenix wrighte was really sad cause he was throwed in jail for committing his crimes and now he cant save edgworth

"god damn a shit" say wright "hey POLICEMAN" and he bang the door

"wat is it" said policeguy

"can u let me out so i can save my friend edgworth"

"no"

"shit" and write sat bac down thinking to himsefl how toe escape

BUT TEN there was a knokc on the door

"who is it" sai wright

the door open and stadning there was non other than ME, DETECTIV JAKKID166

"o shit detective jakkid166 the best dective in the world! ill leav u and the criminal alone" said policeguy and he left

"ty" siad me and i went into wrights sell

"wat do you want u assholer" said wright "also wtf how ar u here in beech sity"

"wright jus cause im von karmas cousin dont make me an asshole" said jakkid i mean me "and i got transferd here after von karma got guilty"

"BUT U TRYED TO CONVICT ME FOR VON KARMAS DETH"

"thats cause you actualy killed him"

"THATS IRRELEVENT"

"aniway, u proved yorself to be a good person anda good lawyer who aren't afraid of anythin g, and i applad you in ur effort to save ur friend from tha depths of hell"

"so wat r u saying BR0"

"i will get u out of prison on on condition"

"wats dat"

"yuo let me help you in ur adventure"

"ya ok but wat can u do"

"i can be spy, and giv informatine to you abot gants traps"

"oh ok"

"cool now lets ASCAPE" and i took a galaxy note 7 out of my pokcet and thrw it at the wall and it exploded and we jump out da hole

poleceguy came back to the cell "oh cool ty detectiv jakkid166 for the new window"

me and wirght ran all the waye to his secret lab base

"ok were here" say wright

"wtf dis is ur base its just a normal house" said me

"im on a budget ok"

we wetn inside and he showd me his labtop

"ok so wat i need is dis gem of ultimat power, itll alow me to use the warp pad 2 teleport home"

"ok so wher is it"

"WELL DAT IS A GOODQUESTION WHICHthe answer to it is i dontknow"

"well dat means we gotta to find it" said me "u do researc ill go find policechief damongant"

~ ME AN WHILE ~

da mong ant was still invesigating with them crystal gems when i ranned up to them

hello chief of police damon gant" said me

"ohi detectiv jakkid166 have u came to help us fidn mr wrights base?"

"yes but i hav news, phoenix wirght has ESCAPD FROM PRISOOOOOOOOOOOOON"

"WAT" said admon gant "oh dats fine i have traps to catch him"

"orly" said i and i pulld out a notebok "pls tell me what traps u got and where they are adn how to deactivate them"

"ok" said gnat

~ LATER ~

i went bakc to wrights house to fukc him up

"ok wright i got da list of traps that gant put downe"

"ok good, well i was lookin on ma radar adn i found a fuckin the godamn GEM OF ULTIMAT POWER"

"oh kool where is it"

"damon gant has it" sayd wrighte "yo u see when i got arested by him i secretli put a gem radar in he pocket, turns out he swallowd the gem"

"wtf y would he do dat"

"well maybe 2 reasons, ether to keep me frum gettin it, or to BECOME A POWERFUL"

"wat kind of power"

"TAKIN G OVER THA WORLD POWER"

"O shIT" said me "we gotta STop HIM QUICK"

"YEA" sai wright and we both ran outta da house to find damon gant

TO BE A CONTINUE


	5. jewniverse

phoenix wright human of bad

chapter 5: GERM OF ULTIMAT POWER TIME

(this is a true story btw)

me, jakkid and wright were goin to find mr damon gant escaps from prison so we coudl stop him from takin over the world with the stomach gem power

"BUT how are we gonne find them him?" ask wright

"hmmmMMmmmMMMmMMMMmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMM" say "i dunno man"

"DIS IS HOW" sayed a voice and we both got knockout

me and wright woked up in jail cell, outsidea our door was standing a damongant and them crysdtal gems

"wtf the fuck" said i "why you do this"

"I KNOW youve been workin with phoenix wright" said da mon

"how"

"because of reasons" say gant "now then, ull both get put to trial and thenu go to jail FOREVER, HAHAHAHAHAHA"

"wtf gant" said wirght "you suck assballs"

"no u" say gant "u see, this is revenge for when you KILLD ME"

"wat when did zat happen"

"remeber in DAMON GANT ESCAPS FROM PRISOOOOOOOOOOOON when u were that man in blakc and killed me"

"THATS NOT CANON TO DIS STORY"

"2bad" say gant "im evil aniways i dont need a reason"

"CYRSTAL GEM" said i "YOU GOTTA BELIEV ME, DAMON GAT IS EVIL"

"i dont belive you" said garnit "u tried to shoot stevan"

"THAT WAS A RUBER BULLET GUN" said wirght "i was jus tryin to look cool, look" and he pulld off his eyepatch and he eye was fine

"but WAITsaid pearl "Wheres the GEM OF ULTOMATO POWER"

"idk" said gant

"I KNO where it is" said me "MADAMON GANT ATE IT"

"wtf thats gross" say gant

"HERE ILL PORVE IT" say wright and he pulled out his scanner and scannd damons stomach BUT it DIDNT SHOW ANYTHING

"see i told u lol" said damong

"wait" said me "i have idea"

"damon ant, show us ur belly button"

"wat why"

"im curious if ur an innie or outie"

gant startd sweatin g "NO NEED, im innie"

"i dont beleve you" said wright "SHOW US"

"i wanna see 2" said pear

"unless you got nothin to hide" say me, smirksmiling

"GGGGAAAAAAAAA" said gant and he rippd his shirt off and IN HIS BELYBUTON WAS, THE GEM OF ULTIMATE POWER

"I KNOWED IT" said me

"wtf" said amethyst "whyd you steal tha gem of ultimate power"

"BECAUS to take over tha WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD" say gant and SUDENLY he GREW REAL LY BIG so big that he BROKE THE JAIL"

"ok i beleve you now" say garnet

"o crap" said wirght "waht now"

"WE GOTTA STOP HIM" say detective jakkid166

"BUT HOW" sai wright

"I HAV AN IDEA" i went up to gatn and said "hey gant can u please stop takin over the world"

"suck me in the ass" said gant an he flickid me into a wall and knockd me out (NOT KILLED ME)

"wow" sai wright "okay anyon got any bettttter ideas"

"WE gotta get dat gem outta his belly büttone" said pearl

"BUT HOW" sai wright

"fucking idontknow" sayed pearl "MAYB E stevens dad has something"

"OK letsgofindhim" said me and we all went to stevens dadhousevan

we were ranning to the stevens dads van and meanwhile gant was stompin around destroying the city wit his laser eyes

"sorry for thinkin u were evil mr wright" said steven

"its ok" said phoenix "i just gotta get dat jem so i can save my friend edgewort"

"WIRGHT IM WAITING FOR YO U MY LOOOOOOOVE!" whispered egeworth from hell

"DONT FUCKING INTERRUP T ME MILES"

we all got to stevendadvan and knocke on the door and gerg universe came out

"wat the fuck do you want"

"DAD dont say words like dat" said steven

"fine" said greg "oh hi detective jakkid166"

"hi greg" said me (u might not know this but i actualy personally know all the charaters from this show there really nice u should meat them sometime) "we need help defeatin damon gant"

"whos damon gant"

"the big guy whos destroyin the city right over there" and i poitned to gant who was a few block away

"oh dat guy i thought he was jus a mirage, but howmi supposed to help u guys defeet him"

"we need that big dong cannon thign rose gave yo u" say pearl

"o that" said gerg "sorry i sold it"

"WAT" said steven "TO WHO"

"some guye named damon gant- o shit"

sudenly there was a huge blats of pink light and they all lookd and gants laser eyes was actually the cannon

"GERG YO U FUCKIN IDIOT" said pearl

"lol sorry" said greg

"ok well dat plan is fucked a dick" said i "any other ideas"

"oh here an idea" say pearl "how abot the 3 of us FUSE"

"o shit how dident we think of that before" said ganet and amethist

"ok yea you guys go do dat ill think of a backup plan" said me

then they fuse

"ok" said the fused gems who was now name alexandrite "lets do dis"

TO BE VERY CONTINUED


	6. last chapter bro

steven guy meets the humane of bad

chapter 6: where in the world is damon gant the answer is he is right here

by jakkid166

ok so guys the fight dat happend here was realy cool but im not good at explainin things so ill tell it close to how i remember it went

"dam thats some shit" i said caus i was watchin alexandite fight damon giant and it was pretti cool lookin, i saw damon gant use megapunch fist and punchd alexandrit in the ass but den she kicked him in the boob

"so uh" said me "wtf are we supposd to do now"

"idk" said wirght "they seem to gotit under control"

"shit" said i "ive writed the story so theres nothin interesting happenin with me or wirght, i dident think this throug, okay somethin interestign has to happen fast"

like wat" said greg

"hmm wel even though were humans we can still be good at" and i point my finger up to the sky "COMIGN UP WITH IDEAS"

"like wat" said greg

"wel lets se, dagom mant shoved the gem of ultimat power into his own bely buton, so we gotta get it outta him somhow"

"BUT HOW" say steven "HES A BIG GUY"

"NOT FOR ME" said me and i pulld out a sniperrifle and aim it at gants belybutton

"hasty lo visa" said and i fire the gun at gatn BUT i missd and it hit alexandite instead and she got poof into da 3 cyrstal gems again, dam son that sucks

"WHO THA FUKC TRYED TO SHOOT ME" laughed damonant

"um it was greg" said me and i gav gerg the sniperrifle

"WTF" sayed gerg and he hide in his van

"fuckgin humans" say gant and he kikced the van so far it went to space

"but you are a human" said me

"actualy i think i mite be half gem now" say gant

"wow tats pretty cool" say me

"thanks detectiv jakkid166" saye gant

"so wat u doin tonigte" said me

"jus takin over tha world" say gant

sudenly the cyrstal gems ran up2 me

"WHO THA FUKC SHOT US" say pearl

"it was garg" say me "but dats not impotant, we gotta figur out how to beatgant"

"BUT IF WER NOT ALEXANDRITE WE CANNOT ALEXANDFIGHT"

"then well have 2 beat him.. WITOUT FIGHTING"

i bet u gasped when u read that didnt you

"DAGMON GANT" i screemed to the havens

"ow dont shout so fuckign loud im right here" sai gant

"I CHANNENGE YOU TO….. A RAP BATTLE"

"OHhohoOHHO SHIET" said stevan

"HAHAHOHEHUGH' laughd gant "i am tha king of wrap battles, u cannot defeet me"

"THEN U SHOULDNT HAVE A PROBELM DEFEATIN ME U JACK FUCKER, UNLES YOU CAN PROVE UR THE BETTER RAPPIST"

"well wat if i win" said gant

"then u hav to stop takin over tha world, but if i win, then you gotta stop takin over tha world"

"very well" say gant "let us begin"

(now imagin this next raps to the song rap god by m&m's)

gatn started "ma nem si DAMON GANT, i got dem orange pants, and im so big rite now that you all look like ants"

"im takin ova tha world right now and theres nothin u can do bout it, so u better sittdown ur girls rightnow cause theres nothin u can doubt about it"

"im 65 years old an still feelin bold, my rhyms right here ar gold and its time for u to get TOLD"

but at that time i walkd up to the plate

"gimme dat microphone its time 2 REK" said me

"ur name is DAMON GANT? man u rap like a plant, u should socially advance, instead of sewin sum pants"

"ur rappin stinks like a big shit pile, u rap like my little sister who deleted my super mario sunshine save file" (THATS TRUE IM SO MAD ABOUT THAT)

"but watever man, it really doesn't much matter, lets just stop now and cease ur endless chatter"

"NOT SO FAST" said gant "stop embarassin urself, ur rhymes are outdated, go puttem bakc on the shelf, u dont seem to understand the gravity of the SITUATION, tha only reason you where PLACED IN that detective rank was cause every1 felt bad for yo u, now you stick to dat rank like glue, well, i tink its about time dat i FIRE YOU"

"o shit" said me "okay i think dats the end, who won guys its me right"

"atualy i think gant won that" said steven

"yea he rekt you" said pearl "like wow that was some good shit"

"ya i hate the guy but i know a gud rapper when i see 1" said wright

"yea you suck at this" said garnit

"wtf guys" said me

"AHAHAHA" say gant "now if ull escus me, im gonna keep takin over the world"

"NOT SO FAST" sayed me like shi long wang "REMEMBER OUR AGERMENT?"

"wat"

"i said you to stop takin over tha world wether you win or not" said me (its true scrol up to see it) "GET FUCKIN REKT SCURBO"

"WAT" say gant "NOOOOOOOOOOO CURSE U JAKKID166"

"yaya i won" said me

"wate a minute" say gant "im tha bad guy i dont have to do tha things i said i'd do"

"SHIT HE FOUDN THE LOOPHOLE" shouted me

"lol" said gant "alrite bye guys" and he left 2 keep takin over tha world

"hmm" said me "he wa more clever than i anticipationed"

"so wat can we do now"

THEN damongant appeard again "oh i forgot takin over tha world also includs killing u guys so you dont get in me way"

"SHIT" said me

and gant raise he fist and wa about to crush us but TEHN

GERGS VAN FELL OUTTA THA SKY AND BROKE GANTS WIRST

"OW WAT THE FUKC" say gant "WHY DOSE PAIN HURT"

greg open he van and got out "GUYSE when gant kicked me van into space my van wetn to gem homewordl and i got a bunc of the gems from there to join ours side and i drove them back here"

at dat point a bunch of more gemz got out of tha van INCLUDIGN yellow diamodn and blue diamond adn also my 2 favorites perdiot and lapis laluzi

"O SHIT ITS DA DIAMONDS" said pealr

"yes" said yelow diamond "greg convincd us to join tha gem rebellione, now theres not any more war anymor, and now we can fite to save dis planet from damon gant"

"wow" said me "good job greg u fucked up the whole shows story"

"pfft" say gant "even wit all ur gems i still hav the gem of ultimat power"

"ya well fuck u you clod" said peridolt

"ok guys do tha plan like we said" say gerg AND THEN

EVER SINGLE GEM begin to FUSE into one huge gem and it was so fuckign big and scary lookin it was also kidna weird and its name was

well theyd idnt think of a name yet but ill let yo u know when they do

aniway the gem fusion of all the gemz was like twice the size of damongant so he got kinda scare

"ohh hoho ok i see i was wrong" say gant "ok you win im jus gonna leav- JUST KIDDIN" and he touch the gem on he bellybutton and he grow bigger so he was size of the new gem fusion and DEY STARTED FIGHTIN the fightin was goin on for like 15 mins, the fight dat happend here was realy cool but im not good at explainin things so ill tell it close to how i remember it went

okay so like damon gatn punched the gem fusson (which im just call gemtitan for now) and gemtitan punch him back and den he kick gemtitan and then

actualy fuck this its boring

SUDENTLY damongant got the UPPERHAND and he grabd a building and STABS GEMTITAN WITH IT

"oh nnNOOOOOOO" said me "WHATever will we dOOOOOO"

but rite before gemtitan poofd, she punched gant in da face and it knockd tha laser light cannon outta he eyes and it landed on tha ground by us

"OW U FUKC YOU" said gant rubbign his eyes but then he saw gemtitan already got poofed into all dem smaller gems "oh ok nevermind"

but littl did we know we had a plan

"ok gerg quick put your van in tha cannon"

"wat why"

"WE GOTTA LAUNCH IT AT GANT"

"aww but i like dat van"

"SHUT UP ADN HELP ME"

so me wrighte and gerg put the van in the cannon and aimd it at gant when sudenly gant lookd at us

"O SHIT" said gant "NO DONT FIRE DAT"

"2 late" said me and i hit da fire button and it fired tha van at gant and it knocked the gem of ultimat power out of his belybutton and he turned back to normal size

"ow" said gant "fuck my life"

"hah" said pheonix "hows it feel to lose for once"

"I ALWAYS LOSE U PEACE OF SHIT"

"well thats no excuse to act like u did, now go to jail"

"fine" said gant and he walked to jail

"ok so um can any1 remidn me why i needed tha gem of ultimate power anyway" sayed wright

"it was to save edgworth remeber" said me

"OH RIGHTE" said wright "cyrstal gems, do u know how i can use dis to do that"

"yes it is a simple" said pearl "u just gotta hold it and say the magik words"

"wat are the magic words" said me

"idk" said pearl

"dont worry" said wright "i thikn i can guyss them"

"ok go ahead" said me

"NEDWORTH BEDWORTH LETS GET EDGEWORTH" sayw right

But nothing happened.

"That's strange," said Wright. "I don't think anything happened."

"Well, maybe there's something-" I stopped myself and looked down at my hands. "Wait a second."

"Woah," exclaimed Steven. "You guys sound way smarter now!"

Wright did nothing but stare ahead, letting the gem fall from his hands. "And I actually feel… _in-character._ "

" _GAH!_ " I shouted, flailing around mindlessly. "The story has suddenly became half-decently written! Quick, someone change it back!"

"But I like being like this!" said Wright. "I'm actually able to question the logic of everything that's happening now!"

" _THAT'S THE FUCKING PROBLEM!_ " I grabbed the Gem of Ultimate Power from the ground and repeated the very same magic words Wright had shouted in all-caps just seconds before.

(author note: i actualy had to get one of my friedns to write that part, hes pretty good huh)

"wait wat" said phoenix "goddammit jakkdi you suck ass balls"

"THATS NOT IMPOTRANT RIGHT NOW" said me "try somethign else to get urself to hell"

"ok" said wright "hmm maybe its LATIN MATAN FUCK YOU SATAN"

SUDENLY wright disappeard from the screen

"um" said me "ok i hope he made it there"

"wat u wanna do now" said greg

"idk"

~MEENWHILE~

WIRGHT appeard in hell jus like he wanted

"YES" said wright "ok now to find edgewort"

ALLOFASUDDENTHOUGH satan appeard

"AHAHAHA phone nix wright you have arrivd to hell i see, i hav been expectign you"

"SATAN U DASTARDLY VILLAIN, WHERE R U KEEPING MY EDGEWORT"

"hehehe i hav him workign for me, ill let him go on 1 condition"

"wats dat"

"U SELL YOUR SOUL 2 ME"

"WAAAAT" said phoenix "no scerw that" and he prayed 2 jesus "jesus pls come kick satans ass"

sudenly jesus appeard

"SATAN wat did i tell yo u about kidnapping phoenixs freinds"

"to not to" said satan

"THATS right now im gonna hav 2 KICK UR ASS"

"NOOOO" said satan and den satan and jesus started fightin

"yea ok im just gonna let dat happen" said phoenix and he wetn to edgeworths cell and let him out

"WRIGHT MY LOVE UVE FINALLY ARRIVED" and edgworth tryed to kiss wright

"FOR FUCKS SAKE MILSE IM NOT GAY STOP CALLIN ME UR LOVE GO MARRY OLBDAG"

"ooh dats actually a good idea" said miles

edgewort used his ghost powers to teleport him and wright outta hell

~ONE WEEK LATERE~

blue attorney man decided 2 take a vacation to beac h city with his FRIEND edgeworth

when he got ther he pay a visit to me and i todl him about wat happened to all the people

frist off all the gems startd to live on earth and there was peace between gem and human world

damon gant went to jail for a while but then he realizd he doesnt have to listen to wright so he left, who knows where tha fukc he is now

i kept beign good friends with tha cyrstal gems and i went on adventures with them (i might write abot it sometime)

i used my money from beign a good detectiv to buy greg a new van for doing a good job

but i also stoppd watchin steven universe cause greg fucke up the storyline

but overall it was a pertty good ending

THE END


End file.
